I’m at that awkward age where half my friends are engaged or having babies, and the other half are too drunk to find their phones.
I’m so sorry
PLEASE STOP REBLOGGING THIS I DONT REALLY KNOW WHAT A MANGO IS BUT IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
Everyone with a top hat is now marked for account deletion. This is the only way we could destroy this horrible website. Happy April Fools day.
Okazu (おかず), previously known as オカZｚｚ.
This tweet is so important to me
slowly approaching bear
the bears will be in eventually
Bear will arrive sooner than thought.
BEAR IS APPROACHING AT ALARMING SPEEDS
BEAR IS GO FAST LOSING TRACK OF BEAR
BEAR HAS REACHED MACH ONE
WE HAVE LOST VISUAL ON BEAR
(I’ve been seeing ASK’s art going around unsourced/uncredited far too much for comfort. Don’t support that.)
– Noah Cho ”Man of the house”
Not even one day after my father died, a family friend called me.
“Noah, you know what you have to do now, right? It’s time for you to be the man of the house.”
I was thirteen. I was barely a “man” at all, let alone ready to be the man of the house. I didn’t know what that even meant — was I now supposed to manage the bills? Did I have to get a job? No one answered these questions for me, because I was too afraid to even ask them.
But as the days wore on after his death, more and more people started telling me the same thing:
“You’re the man of the house now.”
Every stranger at my dad’s wake said it to me. My uncles said it to me. My cousins said it to me. My teachers said it to me.
But I was thirteen fucking years old. I was not ready to be the man of the house. I was not ready to all of the sudden be a replacement husband for my mother, a replacement father for my siblings. I didn’t know how to be a husband. I didn’t know how to be a father. I didn’t even know how to be a teenager yet, let alone be an adult thrust into a world of responsibility that I was not equipped to deal with.
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dude god could come down from heaven with a million angels and tell me that gif is pronounced “jif” and i still wouldn’t fucking do it